Before I say anything about my recent travels, I should come clean and provide you all with a life update, as I have been getting many inquiries as to what the hell I am doing with my life.
I am moving to Guam. In a day. I only told a few people, for several reasons. But it was mostly because I just couldn’t say goodbye to everyone again. This summer (when I thought I was going to Am. Sam) was hard enough. Also, I have been talking to everyone so much about what I should do, where I should go, and that needed to stop. I needed to figure things out for myself. Faye helped me find clarity, pulling my thoughts, fears, concerns, hopes out of me and telling me what they meant.
So yes, I will be moving to Guam to work for the Attorney General’s Office. I’ll be prosecuting again, and I am very excited about it.
I woke up this morning and had no idea where I was. I freaked out for a second. This has happened to me a few times over the past few months, which is not surprising given the amount of traveling I have done lately. But this morning was a bit scarier than the other times. I realized where I was, and what I was doing, and felt a sinking, homesick feeling. I felt extremely alone and questioned every decision I have recently made.
I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. But instead I got dressed and headed down the street to Buddha Soul for a coffee and some fresh juice. I responded to some emails and planned out my day. By the time I walked back to my hotel I was starting to feel a little better, but still had a weird homesick feeling…although right now, where/who/what is home??
Still feeling funny, I headed out to Padang Padang to find flat, glassy conditions. I rented a stand up paddle board and headed out into the ocean. Someone once told me that SUP at Padang Padang is incredible and one of his favorite things to do. I (naively) scoffed at this, thinking “you’re at Padang Padang, you should be surfing.”
And then I tried it. It was awesome. Deep, teal water, turtles, cliffs and boulders in the background. I stopped paddling a few times and tried some yoga poses – shocked that the water was calm enough to do this. After just a few minutes out there I felt so much better about being where I am, and going where I’m going. I stood out there in awe of this place, and quite honestly, in awe of my own life.
I am currently living out dreams that I never knew I had.
Since May of this year, I have flown around the world. I have met incredible people and have done incredible things. I keep finding out new things about the world and myself and it truly is thrilling.
So far this week, I have had filet mignon on a plane with a bar, I stayed in a hotel with a butler waiting outside my door so that I wouldn’t have to open it myself, and I have returned to the place that ignited a spark in me that turned my world upside down.
To say I’m not a little nervous about what’s to come would be a lie…but what’s an adventure without a little bit of fear?
There is so much more to write, but I’m in Bali, so it will have to wait. Friends & family – thank you for the love and support, especially over the last few months. I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye (again) and I hope you understand why. ❤